Pics of the house...please excuse our messes!

This is coming in from the front door... To the right, what will be our office.

Looking into the kitchen

From the kitchen looking into the family room...aka: kids room! We are going to do some different things in there eventually...like add a loveseat sofa and a new tv stand.

Nathan is so proud of his blue bedroom.

If only you could see before pictures. I will be getting pictures of the whole painting/flooring etc. process soon so you can see how much work and effort we (Cass and our family and friends) really put into making this our home.

Sadness

There are always things that people don't tell you when you get pregnant. With my first pregnancy, no one ever REALLY told me how hard parenthood was...especially those first few months. I felt like people really glamourized motherhood and having your first child. Don't get me wrong, it eventually turns out that way, but having a baby is life changing in a way that I don't think people really understand until they have one of their own.

So now I'm less than a week from my due date with baby #2. This is something we have always wanted...two kids, a home, a stable job. Our dreams are all finally coming true yet I'm dealing with an incredible sadness at the same time. AGAIN NO ONE WARNED ME OF THE FEELINGS THAT I MIGHT EXPERIENCE!!! For two and a half years it has been just me and Nathan (and Cass but I'm talking about me being a stay at home mom). We are best buds. Life has become comfortable and easy. He is such a good kid, I can take him anywhere. He needs me but I find myself needing him just as much. The snuggles, hugs and kisses, the quality one on one time, the inside jokes, the laughs, I feel like I already have it all.

So the sadness comes from feeling like I'm going to lose all that. All of a sudden life changes and it will never be the same. I'm sad for Nathan that his life will also be flipped around. I cry almost every night praying that I don't go into labor that night because I don't think I can leave him in the middle of the night...no explanations, no good byes. Would he wake up and be sad or scared because mommy's not there? I know he loves grandma and he would be fine...but night time is our time. It always has been. Even at 4am when he wakes up...it's ME that he needs/wants. Some one described the feeling as if I'm grieving and that's exactly how I feel. I'm a mess.

It's not all sadness...Cass and I are SO excited to meet our little baby Kendall. We want to see what she looks like...will she look anything like Nathan did? We are starting to get anxious, waiting to see if today is the day I go into labor. We have our plans all set.

So even though I know that it will all be ok, I was caught off guard at these intense emotions of sadness. What a mix of emotions of happy/excited/anxiety/sadness. I have learned that MANY people have felt these same ways...however, I'm such an emotional freak that it wouldn't have surprised me if it was just me!!!

On a happy positive note...my due date is Friday and I think she'll probably be here sooner!

Things going on here:

-Thinking Nathan might be somewhat done with naps. On days that he doesn't nap, he goes to bed earlier and better and sleeps all night. When he has a nap, they only last about an hour or so and then it takes an hour for him to fall a sleep at night, and then he wakes up sometime between 2 and 4am. I know he's only 2.5 but right now I'm all about choosing my battles, especially with another baby on the way.

-Speaking of baby...I'm 1.5cm dilated and 50% effaced. I know this doesn't always mean much...but I have always felt like she will come before her due date...so I'm thinking she's coming early.

-I'm waiting, as we speak, for the phone call that our loan docs are ready to sign so we can finally close on our house. Supposed to get keys by Friday.

-Nathan is all about the Wii these days. To be honest, if I could choose between t.v. and video games for my kids...hands down I would choose t.v. I just don't like video games. However, I feel differently about the Wii. The only things he plays is tennis, bowling, golf and boxing. I'm still not sure how I feel about boxing but if only you could see him do it. The reason I'm ok with the Wii is because he gets alot of physical activity that he might not otherwise get...especially on rainy days inside. I think we are going to get him one for his birthday.

-Cass just had his review for his one year mark at Salem Hospital...can't believe it's already been a year...and of course his review was excellent!!

-

Nathan has something he'd like to say...

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translation:
"it says you go to the store. I wrote and get a drink. When you go to the park and you slide down the slide like this!"
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Translation:
"it says you go to the park and slide"

Is it possible...

...to get to certain point in your life, look at where you are and think "how the hell did I get here?" Of course I say this in a good way. Here's a little of what I mean:


36 weeks pregnant!

How your baby's growing:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

Am I seriously one week away from being full term...the time has gone SOOOO FAST!

I also have a 2.5 year old...where has the time gone???

We are buying a house...closing next week!! Six months ago we thought that being home owners was years away...and here we are. A week away from owning our first home. I still can't believe this!!

Easter

So this first picture is just a funny picture...Nathan figured out how to use the camera and took a self portrait. Makes me laugh so hard every time I see it! The real purpose of this post...EASTER! We had such a fun day and spent time with both sides of the family. Nathan woke up and the Easter bunny had left a cute little basket and hid about 40 eggs! He was so cute and a GREAT egg hunter.

TADA!! Posing for the camera with a cheek full of candy for breakfast:)

Looking everywhere for his eggs...

I'm pretty sure he found an egg but stopped to eat the candy inside before moving on.

He knew just how and where to look! How cute is this little "bum in the air" picture!!!

SO HAPPY!!!

He got really cool twistable, slick, crayons.

I always forget my camera when we go to Cass' family celebrations. Which is always so frustrating because Nathan has so much fun. He got to do another egg hunt in his Nanna and Papa's barn. He loved to run through the hay and kick it out of his way. He was one of the lucky ones too...two of the hidden eggs have $5 inside and he found one of them!!!! We ate a scrumptious ham sandwich lunch/dinner and the kids got to play and adults got to chit chat.

OUR HOUSE!

In just a few short weeks, the house above will be our first "home." We are so excited. The home is a foreclosure that needs some cosmetic work on the inside so we got a great deal!! 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, a living room, family room, formal dining if we choose to use it that way:) I can't tell you how excited we are to get in there and start putting our own personal touch to it!!!

Needless to say, our TO DO list is growing and I have to have certain things done before we move in AND have a baby!

-Paint the whole inside of house...some rooms have a little wallpaper that needs taken down...lots of priming.
-Rip up kitchen/family room floor and lay pergo flooring...has to be done before new appliances can be put in.
-New carpet...thanks to Home Depot!

The other stuff can be done once we are moved in.
SO if you have some free time around the 17th and following...feel free to volunteer your time with us!!! Our family already knows that we will be having a work party on the weekend and they are so ready and willing to come help. We are SO lucky to have their help and support!!!

Life is good!!!