Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Welcome to the world Kendall Beaver!


Kendall Lee Beaver
Born Friday May 7, 2010 at 5:56am
9 lbs 7 oz
21 inches
Thursday morning I had a dr. appointment. I was only 3cm dilated but 80% effaced. We scheduled an induction for Monday the 10th but my doc was sure I wouldn't make it through the weekend.
Later that day I was having some Braxton Hicks contractions. Nothing real consistent. I somewhat dismissed them. Later that night I went to bed like normal expecting to wake up like normal....hahahah!!!
Cass gets home from work around 12:30am and usually goes to bed between 1 and 2am. At 3am, I woke up to use the bathroom and had a contraction. I got back in bed and 7 minutes later, another one. So I laid there and sure enough, I had contractions that came anywhere between 5 and 9 minutes apart. They were random but strong so I woke Cass up at 3:45am to time them. They were lasting for one minute. In the meantime, Nathan woke up. I brought him in my bed since I could make it through the contractions without too much trouble, hoping he would just go right back to sleep. He must have sensed something going on because he wouldn't go to sleep.
We called my mom to head over because we felt at this point we should get ready to head to the hospital (in Salem, a half hour away).
When my mom got there, I struggled to get out of bed...not because of the pain but because I didn't want to leave Nathan. He was holding me so tight. I get emotional just thinking about it.
When I did get up to leave, I questioned whether we were going to soon...my contractions were still randomly coming between 5 and 9 minutes. But we went anyway.
Half way up the freeway they started to come at every 2 and three minutes. This is where it really starts to suck.
We make it to the hospital, and I get wheeled to the maternity floor...they are casually taking their time to check me in...in the meantime, I'm gagging in a barf bag. I finally get wheeled into my room (and I don't like my nurse...she tried cracking jokes and seemed to be taking her time). Let me back up...we get to the hospital at 5am, in the wheel chair at 5:06am, in my room and in the bed around 5:20am.
The nurse checks me....I'm at 8.5 cm! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
All of a sudden there are several nurses in my room. One is doing the admitting, asking questions. One is doing the IV, and others are wheeling things in.
Where the hell is my epidural? Oh, the guy that gives them is headed to a c-section.
She was going to give me a pain killer to take the edge off the contractions but as soon as she started to, I felt like I needed to push.
At this point, a doctor comes in, breaks my water and tells me to push.
HOLY COW!
TWO pushes later I had a huge baby laying on my stomach.
I can't describe the feeling of giving birth without any drugs or an epidural...honestly not as bad as I thought it would be...but not a cake walk:)
So Kendall's birth story is only three hours long and two pushes later!!!!!
I know Nathan loves his little sister but doesn't pay a whole lot of attention to her. He is still adjusting but overall doing really good!!!
I feel like the luckiest mamma alive to have two BEAUTIFUL babies and a husband that adores them and takes care of us!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Pics of the house...please excuse our messes!

This is coming in from the front door... To the right, what will be our office.
Looking into the kitchen


From the kitchen looking into the family room...aka: kids room! We are going to do some different things in there eventually...like add a loveseat sofa and a new tv stand.



Nathan is so proud of his blue bedroom.


If only you could see before pictures. I will be getting pictures of the whole painting/flooring etc. process soon so you can see how much work and effort we (Cass and our family and friends) really put into making this our home.



Monday, May 3, 2010

Sadness

There are always things that people don't tell you when you get pregnant. With my first pregnancy, no one ever REALLY told me how hard parenthood was...especially those first few months. I felt like people really glamourized motherhood and having your first child. Don't get me wrong, it eventually turns out that way, but having a baby is life changing in a way that I don't think people really understand until they have one of their own.

So now I'm less than a week from my due date with baby #2. This is something we have always wanted...two kids, a home, a stable job. Our dreams are all finally coming true yet I'm dealing with an incredible sadness at the same time. AGAIN NO ONE WARNED ME OF THE FEELINGS THAT I MIGHT EXPERIENCE!!! For two and a half years it has been just me and Nathan (and Cass but I'm talking about me being a stay at home mom). We are best buds. Life has become comfortable and easy. He is such a good kid, I can take him anywhere. He needs me but I find myself needing him just as much. The snuggles, hugs and kisses, the quality one on one time, the inside jokes, the laughs, I feel like I already have it all.

So the sadness comes from feeling like I'm going to lose all that. All of a sudden life changes and it will never be the same. I'm sad for Nathan that his life will also be flipped around. I cry almost every night praying that I don't go into labor that night because I don't think I can leave him in the middle of the night...no explanations, no good byes. Would he wake up and be sad or scared because mommy's not there? I know he loves grandma and he would be fine...but night time is our time. It always has been. Even at 4am when he wakes up...it's ME that he needs/wants. Some one described the feeling as if I'm grieving and that's exactly how I feel. I'm a mess.

It's not all sadness...Cass and I are SO excited to meet our little baby Kendall. We want to see what she looks like...will she look anything like Nathan did? We are starting to get anxious, waiting to see if today is the day I go into labor. We have our plans all set.

So even though I know that it will all be ok, I was caught off guard at these intense emotions of sadness. What a mix of emotions of happy/excited/anxiety/sadness. I have learned that MANY people have felt these same ways...however, I'm such an emotional freak that it wouldn't have surprised me if it was just me!!!

On a happy positive note...my due date is Friday and I think she'll probably be here sooner!