A time to reflect...

The other day I was asked by my gym, Fitness Experience, to be "Member of the Month" of the month of May. They highlight my fitness/weight loss journey on the wall with before and after pictures and a little bio. It was such a flattering feeling to be recognized for all my hard work and progress. It was also a great time to reflect on my journey. I have to admit that it also makes me a little emotional. I've been a good mom, a good wife, friend, daughter, sister and I HAVE been happy. I have a great life. But I've realized that I can't be TRULY happy until I love myself first. I have not been doing that the last several years and it makes me sad. I had a hard time finding pictures of me from the last five years because they are few and far between...I preferred to be behind the camera. Anyway, I want to share my story because I am proud of how far I've come, the changes I've made and hopefully I can inspire someone else.

My BIO:

My name is Traci Beaver and my journey to better health really began about six years ago. My husband, Cass, and I were married in 2006 and shortly after decided to start our family. Being a mom is all I've ever wanted to be in life and I've been blessed with two beautiful babies, Nathan age 4.5 and Kendall, age 2.  Growing up, I was always active and involved in sports. My weight was never an issue and I had the self confidence that matched. During my first pregnancy I gained 65 lbs. The weight did not fall off as quickly as it packed itself on. After Nathan was born and I was the heaviest I've ever been, my self esteem and self confidence plummeted. I immersed my self in motherhood to avoid having to deal with my outward appearance. I wore oversized sweatshirts and hand me down jeans, with no desire to go shopping or look in a mirror. I have always enjoyed exercise and have always been a member of a gym but no matter how hard I worked, I did not see the results I expected. In 2009, I got pregnant with Kendall. Although I did not gain as much weight during the pregnancy, I still weighed in at 200 lbs the night she was born. A couple of months before Kendall was born, I joined Fitness Experience because it was a close location to our new home and I loved that they offered good classes that I could eventually be part of. It took me several months after Kendall was born to really put my gym shoes on and get back to FE. 

At the New Year 2011, FE put on a team weight loss competition. I was asked to join a team of a great group of women. Although our team did not win, I dropped some weight and was feeling strong. I was running on my own and doing Iron Fit with Cody and Melissa. Once the competition was over I did not make any more progress and my dedication slipped. I was still feeling sorry for myself. My brother and sister are amazing people who always look phenomenal. My sister competed in the Crossfit Games last year and living up to her achievements is near impossible! I just knew that I would always be the "chubby sister" and was really trying to convince myself that I would have to get used to it.

In January of this year I signed up for Rock Your Jeans here at the gym. I needed one last push towards my goals, not just losing weight and getting fit, but I needed to change my mentality. I promised myself that this year would be the year of Mind, Body and Soul. I took the meal plan from Deanna and put my plan into action. I started running three or four times a week, Zumba three times a week, and doing Gravity in the mornings with Brenda. Within the first four weeks I started to see some changes in my body. Something clicked and I knew that there was no going back...EVER! I joined Andrew's Fit Camp and started adding tabata sprints at the end of my runs, and was sticking with my Zone diet. EMPOWERED. That's how I started to feel. Not only that but I rocked my jeans!!!!! Since January, I am down 8 lbs and several jean sizes!!! I ran in a 5K over the weekend and got my new PR...25:42 (and it ended UP HILL!!)

The biggest changes happened on the inside. The negative self talk and name calling turned in to more positive encouragement. Me, myself and I are finally starting to work as a team and it  feels great. I'm happier, more confident, and I shop! I could not have done it without the support system that I am surrounded by. My husbands supports me as I take more time away from my family to work on myself. The constant encouragement and motivation from the trainers and staff at the gym are huge. They all believe in me and there is no way I'm letting them down. Lastly, I feel like I have a family of friends here at the gym. Knowing I will see their faces help get me to class when I'm feeling a little sluggish. 

I know I'm not the fastest or the strongest but I'm the happiest I've been in years. I am still working towards my goals and I know that getting there is a reality. My motto:

"Wake up with determination, go to bed with satisfaction!" (unknown author)

 

 My 'BEFORE' pic...September 2008.

My silly after photo...Taken on Easter, April 8, 2012.